Laura How

Screen Addiction | The News, Social Media & Mental Health

The socially acceptable addiction to news, entertainment and social media is contributing to the deterioration of our mental health, creativity, physical well-being and relational intimacy.
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Putting our screens down isn’t going to be easy, they are obviously hugely addictive to us. But, if they’re a problem for you currently, you can make some simple steps in the right direction today.
-Put your phone in the glove box when you arrive at the restaurant.
-Leave it at home when you go for a walk.
-Enforce a ‘no phones at the table’ or/and ‘no phones in the bedroom’ rule at home.
-Turn off notifications.
-Set App Time Limits.
-Turn your phone off at the same time everyday and leave it off.
-Notice when you unconsciously reach for your device and make a decision to leave it where it is.
Use screens the way a moderate drinker might choose to use alcohol. Mindfully, in moderation and with an awareness that too much is bad for your health.

How to Write a Relationship Contract

A relationship contract is a written agreement in which you both have an opportunity to define boundaries, hopes, expectations and a shared vision for the future of your relationship.
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Is your relationship on the right track? Is your it where you hoped it would be when you first started dating? Is the division of labour in your household fair? Is your spending under control? Are you able to discuss your needs with each other and feel heard when you do? Are you treating each other with love and respect on a daily basis, or have you slipped into resentment and apathy? Do you each commit to making meaningful changes where necessary?
If you answered no to any of these questions, then you might find a relationship contract could help you make a fresh start as a couple.

How to Take Control of Your Marriage

If your marriage is unfulfilling and your husband or wife is refusing to engage in a healthy way, then you need to take responsibility for its recovery and lead by example.
If our marriages have been unhappy for some time, it’s likely that many of the things we already tried did not work, and it’s probably time that we try something new. As the old saying goes, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
It will become increasingly difficult for a lazy or mean-spirited spouse to dictate the terms of your marriage if you are physically, emotionally and spiritually fit. If you are consistently meeting their needs and they continue to dismiss yours, then I would argue you have a martial obligation to protest. In a healthy marriage each spouse keeps the other on their toes.
You’re meant to inspire and support each other to grow and develop as individuals so that your union becomes a force stronger than the sum of its parts. You’re meant to be a team.

How to Become a Sexually Generous Wife

If your husband tells you that sex is important to him, then in my view sex simply isn’t optional in your marriage if you want him to feel loved. We expect our husbands to meet our emotional needs, so we need to meet theirs.
Surely real love means caring about the general well-being of our partners and giving them what they actually need, rather than what we feel like giving? If our husbands say they need sex to feel fulfilled, then they need sex to feel fulfilled. End of story. We can't just decide they're mistaken and reject what they're telling us, that would be unfair. If you had a dog that needed walking daily, you wouldn’t refuse to walk it because you didn’t feel like it and then wonder why it’s pacing the walls and chewing up your furniture. The dog needs exercise or it will go mad. There’s nothing wrong with the dog.
If you are married to a good man who takes good care of you, and he tells you that sex is important to him, then in my view sex simply isn’t optional if you want him to feel loved. If we expect our husbands to be generous in meeting our emotional needs, then we need to be generous in meeting theirs.

A Sexual Marriage is a Healthy Marriage

In a sex positive marriage, both partners experience greater feelings of intimacy and aliveness. These marriages are filled with more joy, connection, excitement and laughter than their sexually dull counter parts.
Developing and maintaining a sex positive attitude is important for the quality of not only our marriages, but also every other aspect of our health as human beings.
To develop this sexual positivity, some of us will need to embark on a journey if we haven't yet done so. Perhaps a journey of healing, increased awareness, of analysis, and of self-acceptance. We might have to ask ourselves why we feel so negatively about this aspect of our nature. We might have to address our own hang-ups or deal with past negative sexual experiences. We might have to consider what the people around us taught us to think about sex. We might also have to question the cultural narrative around what sex in marriage really looks like and have the courage to create something entirely different for ourselves.